I NEED to be honest about what is going on.  I need to be the best version of my self during these difficult times and this being won't let me.  I need to be free from the last 4 years, but thank you God for continuously tormenting and bullying me and not allowing me to get away from a jerk and creep who so so bad...Thank you for not treating me as a woman and a whole human being but as an object, a slave or a robot who is "NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE ANY NEEDS."  Thank you for falsely leading and deceiving me so much that I feel like I'm in a dark tunnel and can't get out.  Thank you for not forgiving me and always being so angry when everyone else has moved on or have forgiven me.  Thank you for terrifying and petrifying me, a mere girl in her 30s who is trying to figure out life and stay afloat during these hard times.  Thank you for treating me like this is the 1930s when there is scientific evidence and data to prove that what you are doing is detrimental to women's physical and mental health and is unsafe outright.   Thank you for condoning violence and for assholes

IT IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.