I am genuinely frightened.  All the literature point to how this issue is really important to women's healthand well-being...this being is "punishing" me for me being the way I am and born.. 

This is a woman being silenced by her perpetrator.  There is something severely wrong with this being.  This is exactly HOW I feel about God.  God is not real - I've reached this conclusion.   This being is like an abusive husband.  I am an atheist.  I don't love this being anymore - threats and intimidation are NOT LOVE