I went to downtown on Saturday and saw a new reality - boarded-up luxury shops, hotels, restaurants....all from the riots of the past two weeks.  It was a rude awakening and I felt a sense of eeriness come over me because I had been sheltered in my place in the suburbs and had no idea what reality was really like.  I think about the state of the U.S. - the Coronovirus, the racial tension, the protests, the economic reality and it is unnerving and unsettling.  I have never felt a sense of unease like this in my entire life.  What are the answers?  What is the solution?  Who can help us get out of this quagmire?  And then I think about my own falling out with God and religion and this horrible duplicitous roommate situation that I somehow found myself in and none of it makes sense anymore.  Is anyonereally in control?  Who cares about me at the end of the day?  I feel as if I'm going through an existential crisis.  But one thing is for sure - I reached a limit last Thursday with my personal circumstances and with the Coronovirus and everything in between.  I need to flee!