"if we shift our focus from ourselves to others and to
the wider world and if we turn our attention to all
the crises in the world, all the difficulties and the
sufferings and so on, we will see that many of these
problems and direct and indirect consequences of
undisciplined negative states of mind. and where do
these come from? from this powerful combination of
self-centeredness and the belief in our independent
existence. by shifting our attention to the wider
world in this way, we begin to appreciate the
immensely destructive consequences of such
thinking..."
~Dalai Lama, 2000
Monday, July 12, 2010
came across an email that I had written in 2003..I was so much more eloquent back then!
---------
dear friends,
excuse my english. just had to put that disclaimer in
there. is it possible for one's english skills to
actually deteriorate? ummm..i'm thinking it might
very well be, as evidenced by my tongue-tied &
inarticulate state of being these past few days.
uh-oh. my citizenship interviews falls exactly two
weeks from now -_-;;
it feels otherworldly to be back in the suburbs of
buffalo grove...especially to see stretches of private
lawns. i miss the sense of a city gone berserk on
sensory overload a bit.
the first thing i'm going to do when i get over jetlag
is go for a long, head-clearing run. one of those
masochistic runs that make you want to never run again
because they hurt your sides so bad. then i'm driving
myself, with the windows rolled down and the pop
charts blaring, to the nearest giordano's. you know,
the stuffed kinds where one slice is equivalent to 2~3
regular slices. hmmmm, aren't they great? :)
twas a bittersweet departure from my motherland,
reexperienced all over since 13 years ago. yes, my
feelings on the place are ambivalent and depending on
which period of my stay you caught me, my descriptions
of the place swung from one extreme to the other.
importantly though, i'm leaving on a good note, thanks
to the warm farewells of the friends i was so blessed
to meet and know these past 10 incredibly...incredible
months.
in my last days in seoul, i took a solo walk in my
favorite part of seoul--Insadong, the traditional
market area. looked around a few art galleries, and
after scratching my head in front of the blobs of
paint on the canvas, i came across a poongmul
(farmer's traditional instrumental dance) performance,
held to gather public sympathy and support on the
plight of Iraqi war victims. it was essentially an
anti-war demonstration and an opposition against
dispatching of korean troops. the grim reality aside
(despite these demonstrations, south korea remains
very much dependent on the US), the accelerating and
decelerating pounding drowned out all the disquietude
for the time being...
anyhoo...hasn't it been a roller-coaster year of a
ride. in korea's case, first the elation of the world
cup games..then the inflammation of anti-american
sentiments. to be followed by the election of Roh Moo
Hyun, a former human rights lawyer and political
activist, and now the anti-war protests.
but even the lonely planet didn't prepare me for the
events that unfolded during our trip in china :p when
my friend tammy and i were in beijing, we heard of
SARS going around china (though chinese ppl we
encountered seemed not in the least phased). in
hangzhou, we found out that the war had begun when a
cab driver started gesturing with his fists and
repeated "Meiguo" and "Iraq."
at the end of the two weeks of packed sightseeing,
good company and good food, the rush of comfort (the
kind that you get upon seeing an old friend) when we
landed at Incheon and spotted the welcome signs in
korean struck and stayed with me a bit. we'd
withstood the frustrations of getting around on three
words of chinese, being harassed by sketchy cab
drivers, and staying at depressing hostels, but the
vulnerability invoked by a world rocked by a war...it
gets to you like none other. needless to say, it's
such a relief to be 'home', to be in the midst of our
loved ones, wherever that may be for each of us.
miss you all much.
love,
~sus
---------
dear friends,
excuse my english. just had to put that disclaimer in
there. is it possible for one's english skills to
actually deteriorate? ummm..i'm thinking it might
very well be, as evidenced by my tongue-tied &
inarticulate state of being these past few days.
uh-oh. my citizenship interviews falls exactly two
weeks from now -_-;;
it feels otherworldly to be back in the suburbs of
buffalo grove...especially to see stretches of private
lawns. i miss the sense of a city gone berserk on
sensory overload a bit.
the first thing i'm going to do when i get over jetlag
is go for a long, head-clearing run. one of those
masochistic runs that make you want to never run again
because they hurt your sides so bad. then i'm driving
myself, with the windows rolled down and the pop
charts blaring, to the nearest giordano's. you know,
the stuffed kinds where one slice is equivalent to 2~3
regular slices. hmmmm, aren't they great? :)
twas a bittersweet departure from my motherland,
reexperienced all over since 13 years ago. yes, my
feelings on the place are ambivalent and depending on
which period of my stay you caught me, my descriptions
of the place swung from one extreme to the other.
importantly though, i'm leaving on a good note, thanks
to the warm farewells of the friends i was so blessed
to meet and know these past 10 incredibly...incredible
months.
in my last days in seoul, i took a solo walk in my
favorite part of seoul--Insadong, the traditional
market area. looked around a few art galleries, and
after scratching my head in front of the blobs of
paint on the canvas, i came across a poongmul
(farmer's traditional instrumental dance) performance,
held to gather public sympathy and support on the
plight of Iraqi war victims. it was essentially an
anti-war demonstration and an opposition against
dispatching of korean troops. the grim reality aside
(despite these demonstrations, south korea remains
very much dependent on the US), the accelerating and
decelerating pounding drowned out all the disquietude
for the time being...
anyhoo...hasn't it been a roller-coaster year of a
ride. in korea's case, first the elation of the world
cup games..then the inflammation of anti-american
sentiments. to be followed by the election of Roh Moo
Hyun, a former human rights lawyer and political
activist, and now the anti-war protests.
but even the lonely planet didn't prepare me for the
events that unfolded during our trip in china :p when
my friend tammy and i were in beijing, we heard of
SARS going around china (though chinese ppl we
encountered seemed not in the least phased). in
hangzhou, we found out that the war had begun when a
cab driver started gesturing with his fists and
repeated "Meiguo" and "Iraq."
at the end of the two weeks of packed sightseeing,
good company and good food, the rush of comfort (the
kind that you get upon seeing an old friend) when we
landed at Incheon and spotted the welcome signs in
korean struck and stayed with me a bit. we'd
withstood the frustrations of getting around on three
words of chinese, being harassed by sketchy cab
drivers, and staying at depressing hostels, but the
vulnerability invoked by a world rocked by a war...it
gets to you like none other. needless to say, it's
such a relief to be 'home', to be in the midst of our
loved ones, wherever that may be for each of us.
miss you all much.
love,
~sus
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