tis a good reminder...
Prayer clarifies our hope and intentions. It helps us discover our true aspirations, the pangs we ignore, the longings we forget. It is an act of self-purification.... It teaches us what to aspire to, implants in us the ideals we ought to cherish. Prayer is an invitation to God to intervene in our lives, to let God's will prevail in our affairs; it is the opening of a window to God in our will, an effort to make God the Lord of our soul. We submit our interests to God's concern, and seek to be allied with what is ultimately right.
~Abraham Joshua Heschel
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
an inspiring quote (and reminder) from the Dalai Lama...
"if we shift our focus from ourselves to others and to
the wider world and if we turn our attention to all
the crises in the world, all the difficulties and the
sufferings and so on, we will see that many of these
problems and direct and indirect consequences of
undisciplined negative states of mind. and where do
these come from? from this powerful combination of
self-centeredness and the belief in our independent
existence. by shifting our attention to the wider
world in this way, we begin to appreciate the
immensely destructive consequences of such
thinking..."
~Dalai Lama, 2000
the wider world and if we turn our attention to all
the crises in the world, all the difficulties and the
sufferings and so on, we will see that many of these
problems and direct and indirect consequences of
undisciplined negative states of mind. and where do
these come from? from this powerful combination of
self-centeredness and the belief in our independent
existence. by shifting our attention to the wider
world in this way, we begin to appreciate the
immensely destructive consequences of such
thinking..."
~Dalai Lama, 2000
came across an email that I had written in 2003..I was so much more eloquent back then!
---------
dear friends,
excuse my english. just had to put that disclaimer in
there. is it possible for one's english skills to
actually deteriorate? ummm..i'm thinking it might
very well be, as evidenced by my tongue-tied &
inarticulate state of being these past few days.
uh-oh. my citizenship interviews falls exactly two
weeks from now -_-;;
it feels otherworldly to be back in the suburbs of
buffalo grove...especially to see stretches of private
lawns. i miss the sense of a city gone berserk on
sensory overload a bit.
the first thing i'm going to do when i get over jetlag
is go for a long, head-clearing run. one of those
masochistic runs that make you want to never run again
because they hurt your sides so bad. then i'm driving
myself, with the windows rolled down and the pop
charts blaring, to the nearest giordano's. you know,
the stuffed kinds where one slice is equivalent to 2~3
regular slices. hmmmm, aren't they great? :)
twas a bittersweet departure from my motherland,
reexperienced all over since 13 years ago. yes, my
feelings on the place are ambivalent and depending on
which period of my stay you caught me, my descriptions
of the place swung from one extreme to the other.
importantly though, i'm leaving on a good note, thanks
to the warm farewells of the friends i was so blessed
to meet and know these past 10 incredibly...incredible
months.
in my last days in seoul, i took a solo walk in my
favorite part of seoul--Insadong, the traditional
market area. looked around a few art galleries, and
after scratching my head in front of the blobs of
paint on the canvas, i came across a poongmul
(farmer's traditional instrumental dance) performance,
held to gather public sympathy and support on the
plight of Iraqi war victims. it was essentially an
anti-war demonstration and an opposition against
dispatching of korean troops. the grim reality aside
(despite these demonstrations, south korea remains
very much dependent on the US), the accelerating and
decelerating pounding drowned out all the disquietude
for the time being...
anyhoo...hasn't it been a roller-coaster year of a
ride. in korea's case, first the elation of the world
cup games..then the inflammation of anti-american
sentiments. to be followed by the election of Roh Moo
Hyun, a former human rights lawyer and political
activist, and now the anti-war protests.
but even the lonely planet didn't prepare me for the
events that unfolded during our trip in china :p when
my friend tammy and i were in beijing, we heard of
SARS going around china (though chinese ppl we
encountered seemed not in the least phased). in
hangzhou, we found out that the war had begun when a
cab driver started gesturing with his fists and
repeated "Meiguo" and "Iraq."
at the end of the two weeks of packed sightseeing,
good company and good food, the rush of comfort (the
kind that you get upon seeing an old friend) when we
landed at Incheon and spotted the welcome signs in
korean struck and stayed with me a bit. we'd
withstood the frustrations of getting around on three
words of chinese, being harassed by sketchy cab
drivers, and staying at depressing hostels, but the
vulnerability invoked by a world rocked by a war...it
gets to you like none other. needless to say, it's
such a relief to be 'home', to be in the midst of our
loved ones, wherever that may be for each of us.
miss you all much.
love,
~sus
---------
dear friends,
excuse my english. just had to put that disclaimer in
there. is it possible for one's english skills to
actually deteriorate? ummm..i'm thinking it might
very well be, as evidenced by my tongue-tied &
inarticulate state of being these past few days.
uh-oh. my citizenship interviews falls exactly two
weeks from now -_-;;
it feels otherworldly to be back in the suburbs of
buffalo grove...especially to see stretches of private
lawns. i miss the sense of a city gone berserk on
sensory overload a bit.
the first thing i'm going to do when i get over jetlag
is go for a long, head-clearing run. one of those
masochistic runs that make you want to never run again
because they hurt your sides so bad. then i'm driving
myself, with the windows rolled down and the pop
charts blaring, to the nearest giordano's. you know,
the stuffed kinds where one slice is equivalent to 2~3
regular slices. hmmmm, aren't they great? :)
twas a bittersweet departure from my motherland,
reexperienced all over since 13 years ago. yes, my
feelings on the place are ambivalent and depending on
which period of my stay you caught me, my descriptions
of the place swung from one extreme to the other.
importantly though, i'm leaving on a good note, thanks
to the warm farewells of the friends i was so blessed
to meet and know these past 10 incredibly...incredible
months.
in my last days in seoul, i took a solo walk in my
favorite part of seoul--Insadong, the traditional
market area. looked around a few art galleries, and
after scratching my head in front of the blobs of
paint on the canvas, i came across a poongmul
(farmer's traditional instrumental dance) performance,
held to gather public sympathy and support on the
plight of Iraqi war victims. it was essentially an
anti-war demonstration and an opposition against
dispatching of korean troops. the grim reality aside
(despite these demonstrations, south korea remains
very much dependent on the US), the accelerating and
decelerating pounding drowned out all the disquietude
for the time being...
anyhoo...hasn't it been a roller-coaster year of a
ride. in korea's case, first the elation of the world
cup games..then the inflammation of anti-american
sentiments. to be followed by the election of Roh Moo
Hyun, a former human rights lawyer and political
activist, and now the anti-war protests.
but even the lonely planet didn't prepare me for the
events that unfolded during our trip in china :p when
my friend tammy and i were in beijing, we heard of
SARS going around china (though chinese ppl we
encountered seemed not in the least phased). in
hangzhou, we found out that the war had begun when a
cab driver started gesturing with his fists and
repeated "Meiguo" and "Iraq."
at the end of the two weeks of packed sightseeing,
good company and good food, the rush of comfort (the
kind that you get upon seeing an old friend) when we
landed at Incheon and spotted the welcome signs in
korean struck and stayed with me a bit. we'd
withstood the frustrations of getting around on three
words of chinese, being harassed by sketchy cab
drivers, and staying at depressing hostels, but the
vulnerability invoked by a world rocked by a war...it
gets to you like none other. needless to say, it's
such a relief to be 'home', to be in the midst of our
loved ones, wherever that may be for each of us.
miss you all much.
love,
~sus
Friday, June 25, 2010
Our God's tender love for His servants makes Him concerned for the state of their inward feelings. He desires them to be of good courage. Some esteem it a small thing for a believer to be vexed with doubts and fears, but God thinks not so. From this text it is plain that [He] would not have us entangled with fears. He would have us without... doubt, without cowardice.
[He] does not think so lightly of our unbelief as we do. When we are desponding we are subject to a grievous malady, not to be trifled with, but to be carried at once to the beloved Physician. Our Lord loveth not to see our countenance sad... He would have us put off the spirit of heaviness, and put on the garment of praise, for there is much reason to rejoice.
[We] ought to be of a courageous spirit, in order that [we] may glorify the Lord by enduring trials in a heroic manner... Let your spirit by joyful in God your Saviour, the joy of the Lord shall be your strength, and no fiend of hell shall make headway against you, but cowardice throws down the banner.
Moreover, labour is light to a man of cheerful spirit; and success waits upon cheerfulness. The man who toils, rejoicing in his God, believing with all his heart, has success guaranteed. He who sows in hope shall reap in joy; therefore, dear reader, "be thou strong, and very courageous."
-CH Spurgeon, Daily Readings
[He] does not think so lightly of our unbelief as we do. When we are desponding we are subject to a grievous malady, not to be trifled with, but to be carried at once to the beloved Physician. Our Lord loveth not to see our countenance sad... He would have us put off the spirit of heaviness, and put on the garment of praise, for there is much reason to rejoice.
[We] ought to be of a courageous spirit, in order that [we] may glorify the Lord by enduring trials in a heroic manner... Let your spirit by joyful in God your Saviour, the joy of the Lord shall be your strength, and no fiend of hell shall make headway against you, but cowardice throws down the banner.
Moreover, labour is light to a man of cheerful spirit; and success waits upon cheerfulness. The man who toils, rejoicing in his God, believing with all his heart, has success guaranteed. He who sows in hope shall reap in joy; therefore, dear reader, "be thou strong, and very courageous."
-CH Spurgeon, Daily Readings
Monday, June 21, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Things I've done/experienced in NYC thus far!
- Playing basketball in a beautiful park in the Upperwest Side over President's Weekend
- Swing dancing at Swing 24 near Times Square
- Dancing and more dancing :)
- Watched Billy Elliot
- Experienced "snow days" off from work
- Visiting Redeemer small groups
- Karaoking and getting Korean food in K-town
- visiting the Guggenheim Museum on a "pay as you wish" night
- volunteering with Hope for New York (including with the NYC Relief Bus on a freezing Saturday morning in the Bronx)
- visiting the Museum of Chinese in America (MOCA)
- living in and navigating Flushing..enough said :)
- watching a Eugene Park concert at the Village Underground
- going to a Lifehouse Concert at the Hard Rock Cafe
- walking the NYU area on foot
- trying the best halal place on 53rd & 6th where there is a ubiquitous line
- Steak Shack
- going to the Cloisters
- experiencing long lines akin to airport security check lines at Whole Foods
- Seeing the Highline and exploring the Meatpacking District (including a covered market there)
- going to see a Mets Game
- salsa dancing at the LQ at the Radisson Lexington Hotel
- bike-riding along the Hudson River
- going hiking about an hour and a half away from NYC
- going to the REAH NK meetings
- running in and exploring Central Park
- visiting Times Square Church and the Brooklyn Tabernacle (the best gospel choirs ever in my humble opinion :)
- the YWCA Queens and KAFSC's 21st Annual Gala
- reconnecting with old friends and meeting new ones :)
- Swing dancing at Swing 24 near Times Square
- Dancing and more dancing :)
- Watched Billy Elliot
- Experienced "snow days" off from work
- Visiting Redeemer small groups
- Karaoking and getting Korean food in K-town
- visiting the Guggenheim Museum on a "pay as you wish" night
- volunteering with Hope for New York (including with the NYC Relief Bus on a freezing Saturday morning in the Bronx)
- visiting the Museum of Chinese in America (MOCA)
- living in and navigating Flushing..enough said :)
- watching a Eugene Park concert at the Village Underground
- going to a Lifehouse Concert at the Hard Rock Cafe
- walking the NYU area on foot
- trying the best halal place on 53rd & 6th where there is a ubiquitous line
- Steak Shack
- going to the Cloisters
- experiencing long lines akin to airport security check lines at Whole Foods
- Seeing the Highline and exploring the Meatpacking District (including a covered market there)
- going to see a Mets Game
- salsa dancing at the LQ at the Radisson Lexington Hotel
- bike-riding along the Hudson River
- going hiking about an hour and a half away from NYC
- going to the REAH NK meetings
- running in and exploring Central Park
- visiting Times Square Church and the Brooklyn Tabernacle (the best gospel choirs ever in my humble opinion :)
- the YWCA Queens and KAFSC's 21st Annual Gala
- reconnecting with old friends and meeting new ones :)
Monday, May 31, 2010
On Love
“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”
~Neil Gaiman
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
~C.S. Lewis
~Neil Gaiman
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
~C.S. Lewis
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Let Go and Change
"When we let go of hatred, prejudices, arrogance and entitlement from the heart, our actions change. We love, forgive and hope from the heart, and from there our world changes. So I offer this prayer for us: 'Holy One, we give you permission to carve away all that is not pure in our hearts. We invite you to create space in our crowded hearts for you to dwell. Create in us a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within us. We ask you to align our priorities with yours, and awaken our hearts from their sleep."
Source: Esther Elizabeth, Journey Into Freedom
Source: Esther Elizabeth, Journey Into Freedom
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Let Evening Come
Let the light of late afternoon
shine through chinks in the barn, moving
up the bales as the sun moves down.
Let the cricket take up chafing
as a woman takes up her needles
and her yarn. Let evening come.
Let dew collect on the hoe abandoned
in long grass. Let the stars appear
and the moon disclose her silver horn.
Let the fox go back to its sandy den.
Let the wind die down. Let the shed
go black inside. Let evening come.
To the bottle in the ditch, to the scoop
in the oats, to air in the lung
let evening come.
Let it come, as it will, and don't
be afraid. God does not leave us
comfortless, so let evening come.
Source: Jane Kenyon, Collected Poems
shine through chinks in the barn, moving
up the bales as the sun moves down.
Let the cricket take up chafing
as a woman takes up her needles
and her yarn. Let evening come.
Let dew collect on the hoe abandoned
in long grass. Let the stars appear
and the moon disclose her silver horn.
Let the fox go back to its sandy den.
Let the wind die down. Let the shed
go black inside. Let evening come.
To the bottle in the ditch, to the scoop
in the oats, to air in the lung
let evening come.
Let it come, as it will, and don't
be afraid. God does not leave us
comfortless, so let evening come.
Source: Jane Kenyon, Collected Poems
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Inhabiting Our Moments
Everyone is too busy all the time. We have become a nation of multi-taskers. By definition, multi-tasking means the mind is divided and not fully focused on any one event. A very simple definition of mindfulness is doing one thing at a time. If we are planting some turnips, we are doing it properly. If we are reading to a child, that is all we are doing.
I have a long history of doing two or three or seventeen things at once. I am cooking, but planning my next road trip. I am talking on the phone, but wondering if I have a can of tuna handy for lunch. I am bird-watching, but worrying if I have offended someone. I am walking, but even as I smell the French lilacs in the air and notice the heron on the lake, I am thinking of presidential politics. Yet slowly I am discovering that life is best when I am one place at a time; that is to say that when I am cooking, I am cooking. Well, okay, maybe stirring and listening to the radio, but I am not planning a Father's Day party for the extended family.Sometimes inhabiting the moment is simple indeed. We hear Louis Armstrong or Chopin on the radio. We taste our lover's kisses, the pomegranate juice or the salt air. We smell the sage or the jasmine blossom.
Animals can pull us into the moment. One of the reasons pets are so popular is that when we are with them, we share their pleasure in being here now. Pets do not live in clock time, and they allow us to rest from chronological time. We join them in older, animal rhythms.
On winter nights, Jim and I sit in our recliners and look out onto the snow and the lake. We wait for our local fox to appear. When he comes, he runs along our south fence toward the lake. He is the color of a shadow and his fur fluffs out like feathers. He trots onto the dam, runs in tight circles, then pounces on whatever prey is available. Within a few seconds he is gone. Afterward, having seen the fox, we are as giddy as children.
Most people respond to wild animals the way we do. I think it is because, deep within us, we carry something far more ancient than human thoughts. Animal spottings, whether of eagles, grizzlies or dolphins, remind us of our ancient selves. Primordial appreciates primordial. We have a moment to connect to something older than our culture, our history and our short lives.
Because children live in the present, we can join them in fresh experiences. Until they are educated away from living in the moment, that is their natural place. Just recently, I drove my grandchildren to the Ozarks for a family reunion. Eating a chocolate doughnut at our Days Inn and thinking about swimming with her newfound cousins, three-year-old Claire said, "My heart is snuggling inside me." Then she realized this didn't quite express what she was experiencing in her chest. She said, "My heart feels very big right now." Her life was not so complicated that she couldn't recognize the physical sensations of joy....
To create moments in our daily lives, we must have a new set of skills for making magic out of the ordinary. The more moments we find, the more we learn to find them.
Source: Seeking Peace
by Mary Pipher
I have a long history of doing two or three or seventeen things at once. I am cooking, but planning my next road trip. I am talking on the phone, but wondering if I have a can of tuna handy for lunch. I am bird-watching, but worrying if I have offended someone. I am walking, but even as I smell the French lilacs in the air and notice the heron on the lake, I am thinking of presidential politics. Yet slowly I am discovering that life is best when I am one place at a time; that is to say that when I am cooking, I am cooking. Well, okay, maybe stirring and listening to the radio, but I am not planning a Father's Day party for the extended family.Sometimes inhabiting the moment is simple indeed. We hear Louis Armstrong or Chopin on the radio. We taste our lover's kisses, the pomegranate juice or the salt air. We smell the sage or the jasmine blossom.
Animals can pull us into the moment. One of the reasons pets are so popular is that when we are with them, we share their pleasure in being here now. Pets do not live in clock time, and they allow us to rest from chronological time. We join them in older, animal rhythms.
On winter nights, Jim and I sit in our recliners and look out onto the snow and the lake. We wait for our local fox to appear. When he comes, he runs along our south fence toward the lake. He is the color of a shadow and his fur fluffs out like feathers. He trots onto the dam, runs in tight circles, then pounces on whatever prey is available. Within a few seconds he is gone. Afterward, having seen the fox, we are as giddy as children.
Most people respond to wild animals the way we do. I think it is because, deep within us, we carry something far more ancient than human thoughts. Animal spottings, whether of eagles, grizzlies or dolphins, remind us of our ancient selves. Primordial appreciates primordial. We have a moment to connect to something older than our culture, our history and our short lives.
Because children live in the present, we can join them in fresh experiences. Until they are educated away from living in the moment, that is their natural place. Just recently, I drove my grandchildren to the Ozarks for a family reunion. Eating a chocolate doughnut at our Days Inn and thinking about swimming with her newfound cousins, three-year-old Claire said, "My heart is snuggling inside me." Then she realized this didn't quite express what she was experiencing in her chest. She said, "My heart feels very big right now." Her life was not so complicated that she couldn't recognize the physical sensations of joy....
To create moments in our daily lives, we must have a new set of skills for making magic out of the ordinary. The more moments we find, the more we learn to find them.
Source: Seeking Peace
by Mary Pipher
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Snow Days
I have been in New York for about 1.5 month now. The breathtaking landscape of the city still doesn't cease to amaze me and embues an aura of romance and cosmopolitanism (is this a word?) even to the mundane things (like eating at a diner, for example).
Work is going well..it's getting busier by the day. A snowstorm fell on the city last week and it snowed a bit today. But I find it amusing/humorous to see people trekking about (especially the ever-ubiquitous crowd in downtown Flushing), unfazed by the inclement weather and simply going about their business. Welcome to New York City.
Work is going well..it's getting busier by the day. A snowstorm fell on the city last week and it snowed a bit today. But I find it amusing/humorous to see people trekking about (especially the ever-ubiquitous crowd in downtown Flushing), unfazed by the inclement weather and simply going about their business. Welcome to New York City.
Monday, February 8, 2010
"Paralyzed or Free"
Most of the people on earth today are paralyzed by what are said to be the consequences of their sins. The destitute of the world have it hammered into their consciousness--by those who, like the scribes, have the power in our day to define sins--that they are poor because they are lazy; or that they are poor because they have mismanaged their resources; or because they have squandered opportunities; or because, in the most blatantly evil definitions of guilt, they are black or female or homosexual or members of whatever part of humanity the powerful choose to define as subhuman and sinful. Paralysis, hunger, homelessness and early death are, according to the rich and powerful, the direct consequences of the poor and powerless having sinned in one way or another.... [But] the paralytic walks away because he has become a new human being. Transformed within and without, he is freed from paralysis. ~James Douglass
Sunday, January 3, 2010
In NYC
It's been about a week since I've been in NYC. Arrived last Monday after Christmas and searched for housing in Flushing all week - I think I looked at about 11 or 12 places. Finding *quality* housing in Flushing is no easy feat, I've come to realize, but I've found a place to stay for now!
But I really do love New York - seeing the diverse faces on the subway, the skyscrapers and the breathtaking architecture, the nooks & crannies of each neighborhood, even the grimy streets.
Spent a fun New Year's Eve at a benefit bash sponsored by Restore, a Christian organization which seeks to assist and rehabilitate victims of trafficking. I cannot believe that it's 2010 - time really seems to go by in a blur (especially the last several years). I start a new work tomorrow - keep your fingers crossed for me!
But I really do love New York - seeing the diverse faces on the subway, the skyscrapers and the breathtaking architecture, the nooks & crannies of each neighborhood, even the grimy streets.
Spent a fun New Year's Eve at a benefit bash sponsored by Restore, a Christian organization which seeks to assist and rehabilitate victims of trafficking. I cannot believe that it's 2010 - time really seems to go by in a blur (especially the last several years). I start a new work tomorrow - keep your fingers crossed for me!
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