Monday, December 8, 2008
i thought these questions were fun - perhaps a good way to screen potential dates? =)
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/12/08/odd.oxford.questions/index.html#cnnSTCOther1
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Make a Mess, Discover Your Life
A much-needed kick in the butt!
By Anne Lamott
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.
Besides, perfectionism will block inventiveness and playfulness and life force (these are words we are allowed to use in California). Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived. Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground—you can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, fix things, get a grip. Tidiness suggests that something is as good as it’s going to get. Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation.
When I was 21, I had my tonsils removed. I was one of those people who got strep throat every few minutes, and my doctor finally decided that I needed to have my tonsils taken out. For the entire week afterward, swallowing hurt so much that I could barely open my mouth for a straw. I had a prescription for painkillers, though, and when they ran out but the pain hadn’t, I called the nurse and said she would need to send another prescription over, and maybe a little mixed grill of drugs because I was also feeling somewhat anxious. But she wouldn’t.
I asked to speak to her supervisor. She told me her supervisor was at lunch and that I needed to buy some gum, of all things, and to chew it vigorously—the thought of which made me clutch at my throat. She explained that when we have a wound in our body, the nearby muscles cramp around it to protect it from any more violation and from infection, and that I would need to use these muscles if I wanted them to relax again. So finally my best friend Pammy went out and bought me some gum, and I began to chew it, with great hostility and skepticism. The first bites caused a ripping sensation in the back of my throat, but within minutes all the pain was gone, permanently.
I think that something similar happens with our psychic muscles. They cramp around our wounds—the pain from our childhood, the losses and disappointments of adulthood, the humiliations suffered in both—to keep us from getting hurt in the same place again, to keep foreign substances out. So those wounds never have a chance to heal. Perfectionism is one way our muscles cramp. In some cases we don’t even know that the wounds and the cramping are there, but both limit us. They keep us moving in tight, worried ways. They keep us standing back or backing away from life, keep us from experiencing life in a naked and immediate way.
So go ahead and make big scrawls and mistakes. Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend. What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.
Anne Lamott is a writer of books and essays. This piece is an excerpt from her book, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.
By Anne Lamott
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.
Besides, perfectionism will block inventiveness and playfulness and life force (these are words we are allowed to use in California). Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived. Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground—you can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, fix things, get a grip. Tidiness suggests that something is as good as it’s going to get. Tidiness makes me think of held breath, of suspended animation.
When I was 21, I had my tonsils removed. I was one of those people who got strep throat every few minutes, and my doctor finally decided that I needed to have my tonsils taken out. For the entire week afterward, swallowing hurt so much that I could barely open my mouth for a straw. I had a prescription for painkillers, though, and when they ran out but the pain hadn’t, I called the nurse and said she would need to send another prescription over, and maybe a little mixed grill of drugs because I was also feeling somewhat anxious. But she wouldn’t.
I asked to speak to her supervisor. She told me her supervisor was at lunch and that I needed to buy some gum, of all things, and to chew it vigorously—the thought of which made me clutch at my throat. She explained that when we have a wound in our body, the nearby muscles cramp around it to protect it from any more violation and from infection, and that I would need to use these muscles if I wanted them to relax again. So finally my best friend Pammy went out and bought me some gum, and I began to chew it, with great hostility and skepticism. The first bites caused a ripping sensation in the back of my throat, but within minutes all the pain was gone, permanently.
I think that something similar happens with our psychic muscles. They cramp around our wounds—the pain from our childhood, the losses and disappointments of adulthood, the humiliations suffered in both—to keep us from getting hurt in the same place again, to keep foreign substances out. So those wounds never have a chance to heal. Perfectionism is one way our muscles cramp. In some cases we don’t even know that the wounds and the cramping are there, but both limit us. They keep us moving in tight, worried ways. They keep us standing back or backing away from life, keep us from experiencing life in a naked and immediate way.
So go ahead and make big scrawls and mistakes. Perfectionism is a mean, frozen form of idealism, while messes are the artist’s true friend. What people somehow (inadvertently, I’m sure) forgot to mention when we were children was that we need to make messes in order to find out who we are and why we are here.
Anne Lamott is a writer of books and essays. This piece is an excerpt from her book, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Interesting!
I filled out a job application and here is the assessment it gave me:
CareerView Summary:
Your Career Beliefs
(When you believe you should be doing)
Your Career Motivations
(Patterns that would best fit your motivations)
Primary Theme:
Expert
long term specialization in a particular type of work, with emphasis on expertise, and stability Learning
periodic movement into new types of work, with emphasis on broadening of skills and knowledge, and creativity
Secondary
Theme Competitive
rapid upward advancement, with emphasis on achievement and gaining influence Entrepreneurial
many different kinds of work, with emphasis on variety and independence
Analysis:
The key themes in your Career Beliefs profile are very different from the key themes in your Career Motivations profile.
We place much more importance on Career Motivations than on Career Beliefs in career decision-making. Career Beliefs are too easily influenced by other people in our lives. A person's Career Motivations are more likely to reflect that person's own true preferences. Consequently, in your case, we recommend that you take care to place most importance on Learning themes and Entrepreneurial themes when searching for and evaluating career opportunities. Be sure not to give too much weight to Expert and Competitive themes. They could lead you in the wrong direction in your career.
-------------
StyleView
The StyleView Assessment provides a profile of the image you want to project versus your natural operating style - and examines how people's first and second impressions of you may differ.
StyleView Summary
Comparing your leadership style profile and your thinking style profile
Your leadership and thinking styles influence how people see you when they first meet you, or when they only see you in relatively formal circumstances, (leadership style) vs. how people see you when they get to know you well (thinking style).
As you know, first impressions may not be accurate impressions. That is, people often seem quite different after you get to know them from how you viewed them when you first met them.
Based on our analysis of your profile, we expect that other people's first impression of you will be somewhat different from their impression of you after they come to know you well.
Our reasoning is as follows:
Your Primary Leadership Style is
Task Focused
Your Primary Thinking Style is
Complex
First Impression of You When people first meet you they likely see you as action-oriented, firm and practical - steady, reliable and committed to getting things done efficiently.
After People Get to Know You People who really get to know you well will come to see that actually you are very analytic, thorough, and logical in your thinking, and as quite inclined to stick with a particular course of action once you make up your mind.
Main Difference The main difference that people likely notice as they become increasingly familiar with you is that you are more analytic and inclined to think things through thoroughly before deciding than you first appeared.
CareerView Summary:
Your Career Beliefs
(When you believe you should be doing)
Your Career Motivations
(Patterns that would best fit your motivations)
Primary Theme:
Expert
long term specialization in a particular type of work, with emphasis on expertise, and stability Learning
periodic movement into new types of work, with emphasis on broadening of skills and knowledge, and creativity
Secondary
Theme Competitive
rapid upward advancement, with emphasis on achievement and gaining influence Entrepreneurial
many different kinds of work, with emphasis on variety and independence
Analysis:
The key themes in your Career Beliefs profile are very different from the key themes in your Career Motivations profile.
We place much more importance on Career Motivations than on Career Beliefs in career decision-making. Career Beliefs are too easily influenced by other people in our lives. A person's Career Motivations are more likely to reflect that person's own true preferences. Consequently, in your case, we recommend that you take care to place most importance on Learning themes and Entrepreneurial themes when searching for and evaluating career opportunities. Be sure not to give too much weight to Expert and Competitive themes. They could lead you in the wrong direction in your career.
-------------
StyleView
The StyleView Assessment provides a profile of the image you want to project versus your natural operating style - and examines how people's first and second impressions of you may differ.
StyleView Summary
Comparing your leadership style profile and your thinking style profile
Your leadership and thinking styles influence how people see you when they first meet you, or when they only see you in relatively formal circumstances, (leadership style) vs. how people see you when they get to know you well (thinking style).
As you know, first impressions may not be accurate impressions. That is, people often seem quite different after you get to know them from how you viewed them when you first met them.
Based on our analysis of your profile, we expect that other people's first impression of you will be somewhat different from their impression of you after they come to know you well.
Our reasoning is as follows:
Your Primary Leadership Style is
Task Focused
Your Primary Thinking Style is
Complex
First Impression of You When people first meet you they likely see you as action-oriented, firm and practical - steady, reliable and committed to getting things done efficiently.
After People Get to Know You People who really get to know you well will come to see that actually you are very analytic, thorough, and logical in your thinking, and as quite inclined to stick with a particular course of action once you make up your mind.
Main Difference The main difference that people likely notice as they become increasingly familiar with you is that you are more analytic and inclined to think things through thoroughly before deciding than you first appeared.
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